As the new year begins, there’s often an unspoken pull toward extremes. Many people feel pressure to change their behavior and start the year “the right way.” That pressure is frequently amplified by social media and wellness industries that profit from convincing people they need to become a new version of themselves.

It’s common for clients to come to me talking about challenges like 75 Hard, Dry January, or zero-days-off productivity goals. These approaches are usually rooted in good intentions, a desire to feel better, more grounded, or more in control. But they often rely on rigid rules and all-or-nothing thinking. When life inevitably gets in the way and the challenge becomes hard to sustain, people don’t just abandon the behavior; they often take on unnecessary shame, reading the struggle as a personal failure rather than a human one.

Instead, I encourage clients to move away from extremes and toward the middle ground, especially at the start of a new year. The middle ground is a space grounded in curiosity, flexibility, and self-compassion rather than discipline or punishment. This might look like becoming more mindful about drinking rather than eliminating it entirely, exploring forms of movement that feel enjoyable instead of forcing rigid workout plans, or setting gentle boundaries around work, productivity, or social media use.

Rather than asking, “How can I push myself harder this year?” I invite clients to consider different questions:

• What feels supportive to my body and nervous system right now?

• What changes feel realistic and sustainable in the context of my actual life?

• Where can I practice moderation instead of perfection?

• What would it look like to build habits from care rather than control?

Themes for the year ahead might include balance over extremes, consistency over intensity, curiosity over judgment,or intention over obligation. Growth doesn’t need to be dramatic to be meaningful. Often, it’s the quieter, more compassionate shifts that create the most lasting change.